Neva Scaid

Mane..where your boy at?

Just give him a minute, heĎll be rolling through.

I mean, youíve been TELLING me about how cold this níga ĎDí is supposed to be with the pen, but when I went to servinemup.com all I saw was some big nosed níga holding up a Bible talking about some books he had just read or something..I ainít impressed.

Well just keep knocking on that níga doeí, heís go open it for ya and when he opens it up?? Yo az better be ready!

Well when I went back to hit him again yesterday, all he had was a picture of some country az looking house. Is that supposed to be the house he grew up in or something?

I dunno.

Well when the hell is he supposed to drop another one?

I dunno..he ainít said.

Well how the hell is a níga supposed to know whatís going on at servinemup.com??

Mane, you acting like you gotta pay somebody to type in www.servinemup.com on your browser list or something??

Naww, Iíve got free internet at work.

Well whatís the problem? It takes you all of 2 seconds to go to the site and see if the front page has changed. Between the Recent Articles and the Southside Classics, heís always got SOMEthing you havenít read before. If itís Monday, you already know heís going to have the Sunday School Lesson posted. Thatíll give you time to read that and get your own Bible out and read the passages for yourself.

Aw mane, I ainít trying to get all into the Bible like that!

Why not?

Cuz that Bible is all good and all, but thatís something for them old folks, like my grandmamma them to be reading all the time. I love God and all, but Iím young mane, Iím out here on these bad az freaks, smoking that good Ďthat thereí, drinking these premium well dranks, I ainít trippin..ya feel me?

WellÖif youíre not the kind of person thatís trying to learn more about the Bible, then you probably wonít like a lot of the stuff that D writes.

But you was telling me about that funny thang he wrote about n'gas that donít know how to wipe their az good and something about some Superfreaks, whereís that kinda stuff?

The Streak was something he just sent out to a private group of readers, like his podnas that he grew up with in the hood or at Stanford.

Stanford? That big nosed black níga went to Stanford?? I thought you said he was from the hood?

He is! Mane that níga grew up right there in the back of Sunnyside, off 288 & Airport in Sugarvalley.

Sugarvalley?? Where do I know that name from??

Níga, thatís the same neighborhood where we went and got our haircuts and them twins that sing in that group called H-town walked in??

Oh yeahhhh! Thatís Sugarvalley?? Right over there close to Blueridge and Cloverland??

Yeah! That's it.

Mane..them n'gas over there are ALL the way real!

You already know! D doesnít hold back mane, he drops it down hard and he ainít scaid.

Whatís that níga supposed to be? A black revolutionary or some shít??

I dunno what you call that níga, all I know is that he knows how to pimp that pen and make n'gas fiend to read more.

Is that what he calls his writing? ĎPimpin Pensí??

Yeah!! (laughing)

That níga copied that shít from Lil Keke!!!

I know! He WILL 'jack' a n'ga!!..But you canít hate on him cuz heís working it.

It donít look like heís working it to me, I havenít seen nothing new since Friday.

The Sunday School Lessons.

Aww man, that donít count!

Why not?

Like I told you, Iím not trying to get all into the Bible like that right now. I just came here to be entertained.

Yeah..but what about those times when you ARE trying to learn..you could read it then.

See this the kinda shít I be talking about! Whenever Iím just trying to chill and have a good time, some Bible thumpin witness comes up in my face telling me how f'ked up my life is and how Iím going to hell if I donít repent.


Well hell!! Níga I donít need anybody trying to tell ME what to do! Iím GROWN mane..I get up every morning and put in work so that I can cash my check and go out and eat what I want, drink what I want, smoke what I want, and smash what I want..thatís enjoying life to me and I donít give a dímn what some preacher has to say about it!

D'mn n'ga!??! All I did was suggest for you to read the Sunday School lessons and you just went OFF!! You must have the devil in you!! (laughing)

Aww..fík you!!

Now seeÖnow youíre going to get all of Dís good church folk readers all upset by using those curse words.

I donít give a dímn about them Ďchurch folksí!! Most of them are drinking, smoking, cursing and f'king more than me!! (looking around) Ainít nobody around us anyway.

Oh yes there is..


Look up above you...

Well Iíll be dímned!! Everything we say is being typed down on the screen!! What the hell is going on here??

That's just how D does it mane, he knows how to get in a n'gas head.Öhere he comes now!! My boy D!!!! Whatís up níga??!!

Just putting in this work mane!! Öwhoís that you got with ya?

This is one of my podnas who I sent your address toÖIím trying to get him Ďserved upí but you ainít been showing these past couple days.

Did you read the Sunday School Lesson?

You know I do..but this níga here donít. Heís looking for some of that front page action. Where itís at??

Wassup podna, my name is D..(shaking hands)

Wazzup D..Iím Rowdy.

Rowdy? I knew a dude named Rowdy that grew up over off Leitrum, not too far from Lil Flip's house.

Thatís my cousin.

Lil Flip is your cousin??
No, that Rowdy you're talking about is my cousin.

Imagine that, TWO n'gas named Rowdy?? Only on the Southside!!..Is that n'ga out of jail yet?

Yeah, he been out for a couple of months.

Make sure you give that níga my address and tell him to holla at D. Iíve got some work Iím trying to push through the prison system and I need some n'gas that know some n'gas in there that can help me move it.

Alright..Iíll be sure to tell him..but you know, I can move weight too.

Oh yeah? You one of them I-10 haulers?

Hell yeah! I ainít neva scaid to get out there on that interstate and make a trip.

Well you the type of níga Iím trying to holla at then!

Oh yeah? Holla at about what?

You said you ainít Ďneva scaidí to hit that highway right?

Hell yeah! And thatís on the strength!

Well what about when you take that Ďlong long flightí that Fat Pat was talking about..you ready for that?

Mane when the good Lord says its your time to go, itís your time to go! I ainít scaid to die níga!!

Hmph..you ain't trying to learn more about God, but yet you sit here and talk about not being afraid to die?? That doesn't make any sense...

I BELIEVE in God níga! Just cuz I donít go to church or read the Bible donít mean I donít believe in God!!

I didnít say that, I said you donít Ďseek to learn more about Godí, because if you did, youíd study your Bible more. You sound like you're not even trying.

Everybody ainĎt ĎreadersĎ mane.

So? Do you go to church?

No. They take up too many offerings and have too many Ďholier than thouí hypocrites at church, I ainít feeling that.

Well what are you feeling??

Mane..you need to get up off me!! You all in my grill and shít like you trying to CONVERT a ngía or something!!

(laughing) Iím just trying to get into your head and make you think about a few thangs. Donít trip, thatís just me. Let me gone and pull it on out for you boysÖ.holla back at me and let me know what you thinkÖ.especially you ROWDY nĎgas!! ...


Most people make a point to avoid talking about, reading about or even thinking about death. Then you have some people who dwell on death ALL the timeÖsuicidal, those people that are itching to go. Theyíre ready. Some of this readiness is due to the pain and torment that they are going through here on earth. Other sources include the draw of the mystery of the unknown. Death. Boom. Game Over. Time to start falling into that swirling vortexÖaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..twisting and twirling around into the vast unknown surrounded by darkness and enveloped in a dreamlike trance. Maybe weíll be able to see our old shell lying in state as our spirit drifts away, maybe not. Is death a finite point in time or rather a gradual process? One thing of death that most agree upon, is that when the death time does come, itís preferably served quickly and immediately. That slow painful drag across a hot asphalt road loaded with rocks is a painful thing to witness and what would cause a lot of folks to say, ďto hell with this, pull the plug on me mane!.Ē Others are afforded the blessing of going away softly in their sleep.

The first real death I ever remember being close to was that of my great-grandmother when I was about 11 years old. Grandma Bessie had suffered her 1st stroke and lost some muscle response on one side of her body. She could still walk, but with a trudge. She only had limited movement with that entire side of her body, and her mouth muscles were severely restricted on half of her face. But she could still laugh or show disapproval at what was going on around her. One of our tasks was to help her with her speech exercises. The first couple of times of going through it were a bit awkward, but she would always give such a spirited try and just laugh at herself with the things she just couldnít say right away. One thing she could do for sure, was eat. Wasnít just toast and coffee for this lady, pull out the cream of wheat, eggs, biscuits, syrup, ham steak, orange juice and milk..she was ready! She was still the staid observer on the porch when we had the yard full of kids running and playing around in my grandmotherís yard in Calion, Arkansas. Because after that 1st stroke, when Grandma Bessie came out the hospital, she went to live with one of her daughters, who happens to be my paternal grandmother. Iím sorry if Iím kinda long winded, but Iíve got to make sure I set this one up right, because I gotta make yaíll FEEL me. I was tripping a bit about rolling this out here like this. You know..starting a story, then stopping right in the middle of it and going off on a tangent talking about some other shít?? Thatís the aspect of my flow that I was the most apprehensive of being understood, I know everybody doesnít think like me, most people think longitudinally, Iím more tangent to tangent, ya feel me? Well anyway, I was worried about rolling out on them boys like this, but I happened to holla at one of my Bruhís. Did you read that post? Itís back on date in the recent articles. This particular bruh is one of those Southside soldiers too. But heís not from the Southside of Houston, heís from that Southside of the ChiÖover there near Comiskey Park in Chicago, Ill...those familiar can feel me. He was the one that gave me some game that I wasnít even aware of..

Dauda! (<---Thatís how you say ĎDí in Hausa, one of the cultures and languages in Nigeria)

Kabiru! Whatís up?

Man, Iíve been reading your shít on servinemup..your shít is DOPE!!

Thanks bruh, I appreciate it.

I was reading through the recent articles and man, youíve already put down enough shít to make a book already!

I know..but itís all different things, there is no constant storyline or plot.

So? That dude Milan wrote the Unbearable Lightness of Being and its stream of consciousness..you could do that too.

Really? I thought that stream of consciousness shít went out with Virginia Wolf??

Naww, itís still out there. And that Socratic method you use? That shít is FRESH!!

Socratic Method? I use that??


Uhh..what is the
ĎSocratic Methodí exactlyÖI forgot, I think.

Thatís how Socrates would always generate discussion through questioning dialogue. The way you start a lot of your articles with 2 people talking and debating and shít, THATíS the Socratic method.

Well Iíll be damned.

(laughing) You didnít know that???

(laughing) Naww..I was just trying to be casual and inviting to the reader. Most folks are always trying to see Ďwhat they tawkin boutí. Thatís wild.

Yep. Well..anyway, keep doing what you do níga. I read your shít religiously, your shít is going to blow up.

Thanks for the vote of confidence bruh.

Hell yeah..hey, are you going to put this shít on servinemup.com?


Well then let me get a shot out to my beautiful wife Sukari, (I love ya sugar!), my strong soldier Asa (you my boy!) all the Bruhs (boop-booooop) and all those people out there down for that love, peace and happiness

Yeah, love is cool...but not that faggy kinda love right? That faggy love sucks!

(ha-ha) ĎFaggy love sucksí, thatís funny.

Yeah, too bad everybody is not going to think it is.

To: dwashington@servinemup.com

From: faggy@lover.com

Subject: Faggy Lovers


I used to be a regular reader to servinemup.com, and youíve said some things before about what you feel and what your Bible says about homosexual behavior, but this past post you just went too far. How can a man who claims to have Jesus in his heart sit up and condemn somebody just because they donít share the same sexual orientation?? Jesus said let he who is without sin cast the first stone! You arenít perfect or blameless, and you donít have any rights to judge others and use such offensive and derogatory remarks.

                                 ĖSigned Faggy and tired of being hated on by servinemup.com

Dímn!! You really printed that shít?? Your az is CRAZY!

Yeah, it was a bit over the top and crass, but I get tired of seeing preachers and bishops and Ďpeople of Godí get up in front of church houses and congregations and writing books and stuff telling people that God says itís okay to indulge in homosexual relations. Iím not tripping on the sinner, cuz homosexual relations is a sin just like heterosexual adultery and fornication, but that doesnít mean we shouldnít call it out when we see it. People who donít believe in God, or donít believe in the Bible, I pretty much let them make it, because weíre coming from entirely different foundations, but those Christians who are carrying those signs talking about, ĎGod says itís okay to be Gay!í, thatís some bullshít right there and Iím not trying to see it. Of course the argument is that there are so many Ďbadí and Ďevilí people and movements in the world, why fight against something so benign and giving as gay love? Repeat, Iím not casting stones or judging, Iím discerning. Itís with the discretionary eye of a parent that I have to survey society and anyone advocating the homosexual lifestyle is definitely not helping the long-term goals of the family.

Of course, this Ďhomophobiaí that some people claim I have has a lot to do with the environments that I have been exposed to. Personally, I donít have a singular problem with homosexuals, let them get their freak on like they want to, thatís them. But whenever I feel that theyíre trying to recruit into their game, I grow uneasy and slightly perturbed. If they try to push their point with some of that, ĎHow do you KNOW you donít like men? Jesus said weíre supposed to love our brother..í thatís when Iím ready to cuss them out and tell them to get the fík away from me before I bust em upside the head! Ahem. Excuse me. Thatís not very Christian of me. Iím sorry, I still have things Iím working on, please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet. I just get pissed off when they try to say homosexuality is a blessed union by God..I have a problem with that. Because that teaching ainít NOWHERE in the Bible, and yaíll already know what Iím working with. So for those Christians indulging in homosexual relations out there who are reading this right now and feeling flushed and upset? you ainít ready to be real.

Now where was I..oh yeah, so we used to help my Grandma Bessie with her speech lessons and although she didnít talk too much, she could laugh for awhile whenever she got tickled and she could hiss and snap at you whenever she saw you doing something that didnít meet her approval. But when that 2nd stroke hit her..it not only hit her body, it changed her brain. Each day she drifted farther away from the person we knew her to be, until finally she died. Iím pretty much like everyone else, whenever I get to the point where Iím in extreme pain, or I canít get out of bed and go to the bathroom by myself, Iíll be ready to go.

Death doesnít really get REAL to ya, until you go through some thangs. These Ďthangsí can come from a variety of ways. Experiencing the death of a close family member or friend, or co-worker will make it real to ya. Surviving a stay under intensive care will make death real to ya. Being in a traumatic automobile accident and waking up a few months later in a hospital bed with tubes and wires all around you will make death real to ya too. But once people SEE that death is real, and itís put in their face and you can see that person that you used to laugh with, cry with, the person who trained you to be the person you are today, when you see your best friend in that casket, it will shake you up and make you start thinking about your day to lay face up, arms folded or maybe to the side. Thatís all the way real, ya feel me?

It was this realness I felt at Grandma Bessieís funeral in the early 80ís. It was this realness I felt when one of my Sunday School classmates entire family was found brutally murdered in their house when I was in middle school. It is this realness that I felt when I sat on the front pew at my Big Daddyís funeral that brisk December day in 2002. It was this realness I felt when I walked through the cemetery with my papa, looking at the graves of Washingtonís past when they laid his sister, my Aunt Pearlie Mae, to rest this past year. It is this realness I felt when I flew to Atlanta and cried and found comfort with the Bruhs as we mourned the tragic passing of one of our own a few months ago.

Iíve never been to the other side. My closest brushes with death were by those half-drowning heaves that you feel when you swallow too much water in the tub or pool. Or maybe that sudden jerk and swerve you have to make on the freeway to avoid a collision due to carelessness or some fool driving like a man possessed. Each time my heart caught that urgent beat..and I had glimpses of all the things I had done in life, experiences, moments, people, and it was almost like saying goodbye to all of it, because where I was preparing to go..I wasnít going to remember everything that had happened to me in my life. Of course everyone is afraid of HOW they will go, thatís why we workout and eat well and try to live a healthy and safe lifestyle. But once you realize that death is inevitable for us ALL, well then itís time to start trying to understand all you can about that other side. When you read up on salvation in the Bible, and what God says happens to the soul, youíll start feeling more comfortable when dealing with death.

The current situation in Israel, Godís Holy Land, is indicative of people living a Ďneva scaidí mentality. Both sides have soldiers that wake up every morning prepared to die for a cause that they believe in. It is with this resolution that every Christian soldier must strap on that full armor of God, and go out into the world on faith. Donít be fooled. There are no guarantees of wealth, health and prosperity in this world for the Christian believer. No matter what those Ďname it and claim ití ministers may expound, the Christian believers battle was won by blood. Not just any blood either, weíre saved by the precious blood of the Lamb. Because those who have never FELT it?? I feel sorry for ya, but hopefully this will be your time to start searching for it. This is straight up and no joke, there is wonder working power in that blood mane. Itís the blood that gives millions of souls today and throughout the history of time the strengthÖ. from day to day, it shall NEVA lose its power.

People can dismiss or attempt to discredit the Christ all they want, but once you experience one of those REAL death experiences? Itíll make you start searching for that salvation mane, I know it made me. Nígas can sit up here and talk about all that bullshít about what kinda rims do you have or how much they gave in church offering or what kinda status they have, but in the end all that shít donít matter. The key to getting to that other side into the presence of God is believing in Jesus and Jesus Christ only. Anything else is anti-Christ. Thatís whatís in the Bible mane and if anybody tries to tell you differently or Ďtwerkí it a bit, you need to raise your eyebrows and check out what their motives are. Because no matter what people are talking about,or what people are expounding to be ĎGodís willí, a good litmus test that my uncle taught me holds true: (1) Is this supported by Scripture? and (2) When all is said and whatever it is youíre doing is done, who gets the glory?

Thereís a lot of janky theology going on in the world. People are misrepresenting the Word of God and leading people astray in masses. Thatís why it is so important for those who can read, to READ and STUDY their Bibles, listen to ministers on the radio or on TV and check those passages for yourself to make sure youíre not getting Ďokey-dokedí.

If you donít get baptized, you canít go to Heaven.

Thatís not true.

If you do a good thing to make up for every bad thing you do, you get to go to Heaven.

Nope, not even close.

The fire that was lit in me at my Big Daddyís funeral, was a spiritual awakening from which my eyes can never close. Sitting there in that front pew reflecting on his life and then imagining my day to be in the casket opened my eyes to a lot of things. I could no longer ignore the reality of my day to lie in that casket, I saw it too clearly. I donít know when my time is to go, it could be right as I make this last post, or I might live to see 92 like Big Daddy, I donít know. All I know is that I found the Saviour, and Heís so sweet, I know. Those who have found Him already are smiling and saying, ĎDo that dímn thang D! Let them fools know!í Those who are still searching are probably thinking, ĎDímn, Jesus accepts nígas THIS crazy??í Yep. He does..His arms are open to all.

This is the Ďweightí that Iím pushing, so hopefully, those who can see past the game of the curse words and lampoonery and can recognize the Ďrealí that Iíve anchored my soul in, will forgive me if my words are offensive or discouraging. My prayer is that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart are acceptable in His sight, because Heís my strength and my redeemer. Thatís not mine, I jacked that from one of the Psalms of David. When my day comes to check in and cash in my chips, I wonít be bringing any 401(k), IRAís or stock portfolios with me. No real estate, no cars, no houses, tight whips sittin on twankies, no Jordanís, no Cole Haanís, none of my kinfolk or friends, I canít even bring my wife or my kids who I love so dearly with me..the only thing Iím taking with me when I leave this earth is my faith in Jesus.

But when the day comes for me to take that long long flight??Öyaíll donít cry for D. Because once that day comes, I know itís a part of Godís will and Iím going to be present with my Lord, waiting on that trumpet to blow signaling the return of the Lion. I ainít neva scaid níga, Iíve got a Savior.

If youíre about that love and peace and forgiveness and sacrifice and work and charity, then youíre going to find an eternal rest in Jesus. Even those that are more militant and ready to bust caps on haters, God is going to let the fallen soldiers ride with Him. All those who have been persecuted, tormented and killed because they believed in Jesus will be the first to rise. I donít know about you, but when that trumpet blows, I want to be with them first to rise nígas, I ainít trying to miss NUTHIN!

NEVA SCAID mane...meditate on that.

Hebrews 2:12 Saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee. 13 And again, I will put my trust in Him. And again, Behold, I and the children which God hath given me. 14 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil. 15 And deliver them who through fear of death where all their lifetime subject to bondage.

Holeup..before you go. I know Iíve kept you awhile this time. Normally Iím in and out around 1500 words. This one is a tick past 3 grand and rolling. (<-I had to throw a lil hustler lingo in there for them boys that work them beams!) I know there are a lot of people caught up in the immediate grind of surviving and they canít step back and see the biggest picture. Because it doesnít matter your situation..black, white..male, female, slave, free, rich, poor..youíre going to die one day. And what you have faith in when it comes to life after death will dictate the steps you walk while youíre here on this earth. Thatís just how it is. But no matter where you are, Southside, Northside, Chicago, Kenya..Dominica, Puerto Rico, Brasil, Belize, Japan, China,Armenia..Israel..it doesnít matter, wherever you are, you can never say that no one ever brought you the Word of the Messiah. Consider yourself served. Iím like them laws serving warrants on nígas, but instead of an arrest warrant Iím serving boys that good news. Some accept it, some reject it, thatís your free will. Iím just performing the calling that God has placed on my heart, Iíve gotta tell people about Him, I canít keep it to myself.

This was a very emotional piece for me to write. Understandably Iím sure some of the instances and memories I penned stirred up emotions in others who know the same people I spoke of or who have been through the same pains of loss that I have described. All I can tell you is to look at King David, the man who was a central figure along the bloodline of the Messiah, for David was a man that was after Godís own heart. After David and Bathsheeba had an improper affair from which she became pregnant, and David had arranged for Bathsheebaís husband to be killed in battle, Bathsheeba had that child which was conceived under the cloak of adultery. This child was very sickly and ill and David got down on his knees and he prayed fervently to God everyday all day for the health of his child. Davidís prayers were so feverent and passionate, he stopped eating and bathing and grooming himself. People around him thought he was going crazy his prayer was so woeful. But when Godís answer came and David received the news that the child had died..he got up from his mourning, cleaned himself up and went on about his business. God had spoken and His word is final, eternally just and inerrant. There is nothing that will ever happen in this world that will prevent Godís plan from being fulfilled. ALL things work toward the glory and David knew that, cuz he had a heart that could receive it. Submitting to Godís will means you gotta roll with it mane, even when itís a decision or outcome thatís very painful and scary for you to handle. Let go of that pride and let God do His thang. If you meditate on Him and seek Him and acknowledge Him in all your ways? He will direct your path.

I have a Stanford friend who gave me an excellent list of books to read on dealing with the loss of a loved one. Iíve included her comments..thanks Steph!

Books for Adults

1. The Path Through Grief, by Marguerite Bouvard w/ Evelyn Gladu.
Published by Prometheus Books, 1998
ISBN 1-57392-189-0
** I highly recommend this book. It's very practical and not at all sappy. If you want to flip thru it first, make certain you check out Chapter 14 (pg. 140), "When Someone We Love Is Murdered."

2. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye - Surviving, Coping & Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One, by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D.
Published by Champion Press, Ltd., 2000
ISBN 1-891400-27-4
** Also an excellent book with much more detailed information, including:
- The Ambush (Just when you think you're fine, rage resurfaces, etc."
- Grief knows no schedule
- Troublesome dreams
- Feeling the presence of the deceased
- Instant replays and obsessive thoughts
- The "If Only" mind game
- Anger
- The Stages of Grief (The 1st Year; The 2nd Year; The 3rd Year)
- The Loss of a Friend/The Loss of a Sibling
- Grieving Guidelines for Men
- Guidelines for Grieving Couples
- Plus extensive lists of resources and support for various circumstances.

3. When Your Child Loses A Loved One, by Theresa M. Huntley.
Published by Augsburg Fortress, 2001
ISBN 0-8066-4262-9
** Impressively thorough and helpful in just 55 pages. Great for busy parents.

4. When Men Grieve. Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help, by Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D., 1998.

5. When Children Grieve. For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, by John W. James and Russell Friedman.
Published by Quil Publishing, 2001.

6. I Know Just How You FeelÖAvoiding the Clichťs of Grief, by Erin Linn, 1986.
(Offers extensive information on clichťs and the damage they can do to grievers.)

7. How Can I Help? How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving, by June Cerza Kolf

8. How Do We Tell the Children?: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children Understand And Cope When Someone Dies, by Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons.
Published by Newmarket Press, 1986
** Everything a person needs to know about dealing with children of all ages and death. Includes a special "Crisis" section for quick reference.

On-line Support for Adults

1. www.halos.org
HALOS (Helping All Loved Ones Survive) is a support resource for family and friends who have lost a loved one to homicide.

2. www.adultsiblinggrief.com

3. www.grieflossrecovery.com

4. www.groww.com

5. www.thecompassionatefriends.com

Books for Teens and Children

1. Help for the Hard Times. Getting Through Loss, by Earl Hipp.
** An excellent book, especially for teens.

2. When Someone Very Special Dies. Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief, written by Marge Heegaard to be illustrated by children. [$6.95]
Published by Woodland Press, 1988
ISBN 0-9620502-0-2
** For children ages 6-12. I HIGHLY recommend this one. Designed to be used in an adult/child setting, with age-appropriate educational concepts and questions to help children identify and accept their feelings. Children are invited to illustrate and personalize their loss through art. This workbook encourages the child to identify support systems and personal strengths.

3. After the Funeral, by Jane Loretta Winsch.
Published by Paulist Press, 1995. [$5.95]
ISBN 0-8091-6625-9

4. Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen.
Published by Bantam Publishers, 1983.
** A colorful storybook to read to young children.

5. I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore, by Marjorie White Pellegrino.
Published Magination Press, 1998.
** Following the unexpected death of his uncle, a boy travels to the funeral with his extended family and begins to think about what the event will mean for all of them.




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