BuiltWithNOF
Neva Scaid

Mane..where your boy at?

Just give him a minute, he‘ll be rolling through.


I mean, you’ve been TELLING me about how cold this n’ga ‘D’ is supposed to be with the pen, but when I went to servinemup.com all I saw was some big nosed n’ga holding up a Bible talking about some books he had just read or something..I ain’t impressed.

Well just keep knocking on that n’ga doe’, he’s go open it for ya and when he opens it up?? Yo az better be ready!

Well when I went back to hit him again yesterday, all he had was a picture of some country az looking house. Is that supposed to be the house he grew up in or something?

I dunno.

Well when the hell is he supposed to drop another one?

I dunno..he ain’t said.

Well how the hell is a n’ga supposed to know what’s going on at servinemup.com??

Mane, you acting like you gotta pay somebody to type in www.servinemup.com on your browser list or something??

Naww, I’ve got free internet at work.

Well what’s the problem? It takes you all of 2 seconds to go to the site and see if the front page has changed. Between the Recent Articles and the Southside Classics, he’s always got SOMEthing you haven’t read before. If it’s Monday, you already know he’s going to have the Sunday School Lesson posted. That’ll give you time to read that and get your own Bible out and read the passages for yourself.

Aw mane, I ain’t trying to get all into the Bible like that!

Why not?

Cuz that Bible is all good and all, but that’s something for them old folks, like my grandmamma them to be reading all the time. I love God and all, but I’m young mane, I’m out here on these bad az freaks, smoking that good ‘that there’, drinking these premium well dranks, I ain’t trippin..ya feel me?

Well…if you’re not the kind of person that’s trying to learn more about the Bible, then you probably won’t like a lot of the stuff that D writes.

But you was telling me about that funny thang he wrote about n'gas that don’t know how to wipe their az good and something about some Superfreaks, where’s that kinda stuff?

The Streak was something he just sent out to a private group of readers, like his podnas that he grew up with in the hood or at Stanford.

Stanford? That big nosed black n’ga went to Stanford?? I thought you said he was from the hood?

He is! Mane that n’ga grew up right there in the back of Sunnyside, off 288 & Airport in Sugarvalley.

Sugarvalley?? Where do I know that name from??

N’ga, that’s the same neighborhood where we went and got our haircuts and them twins that sing in that group called H-town walked in??

Oh yeahhhh! That’s Sugarvalley?? Right over there close to Blueridge and Cloverland??
 

Yeah! That's it.

Mane..them n'gas over there are ALL the way real!

You already know! D doesn’t hold back mane, he drops it down hard and he ain’t scaid.

What’s that n’ga supposed to be? A black revolutionary or some sh’t??

I dunno what you call that n’ga, all I know is that he knows how to pimp that pen and make n'gas fiend to read more.

Is that what he calls his writing? ‘Pimpin Pens’??

Yeah!! (laughing)

That n’ga copied that sh’t from Lil Keke!!!

I know! He WILL 'jack' a n'ga!!..But you can’t hate on him cuz he’s working it.

It don’t look like he’s working it to me, I haven’t seen nothing new since Friday.

The Sunday School Lessons.

Aww man, that don’t count!

Why not?

Like I told you, I’m not trying to get all into the Bible like that right now. I just came here to be entertained.

Yeah..but what about those times when you ARE trying to learn..you could read it then.

See this the kinda sh’t I be talking about! Whenever I’m just trying to chill and have a good time, some Bible thumpin witness comes up in my face telling me how f'ked up my life is and how I’m going to hell if I don’t repent.

Well..

Well hell!! N’ga I don’t need anybody trying to tell ME what to do! I’m GROWN mane..I get up every morning and put in work so that I can cash my check and go out and eat what I want, drink what I want, smoke what I want, and smash what I want..that’s enjoying life to me and I don’t give a d’mn what some preacher has to say about it!

D'mn n'ga!??! All I did was suggest for you to read the Sunday School lessons and you just went OFF!! You must have the devil in you!! (laughing)

Aww..f’k you!!

Now see…now you’re going to get all of D’s good church folk readers all upset by using those curse words.

I don’t give a d’mn about them ‘church folks’!! Most of them are drinking, smoking, cursing and f'king more than me!! (looking around) Ain’t nobody around us anyway.

Oh yes there is..

Where??

Look up above you...

Well I’ll be d’mned!! Everything we say is being typed down on the screen!! What the hell is going on here??

That's just how D does it mane, he knows how to get in a n'gas head.…here he comes now!! My boy D!!!! What’s up n’ga??!!

Just putting in this work mane!! …who’s that you got with ya?

This is one of my podnas who I sent your address to…I’m trying to get him ‘served up’ but you ain’t been showing these past couple days.

Did you read the Sunday School Lesson?

You know I do..but this n’ga here don’t. He’s looking for some of that front page action. Where it’s at??

Wassup podna, my name is D..(shaking hands)

Wazzup D..I’m Rowdy.

Rowdy? I knew a dude named Rowdy that grew up over off Leitrum, not too far from Lil Flip's house.
 

That’s my cousin.

Lil Flip is your cousin??
No, that Rowdy you're talking about is my cousin.


Imagine that, TWO n'gas named Rowdy?? Only on the Southside!!..Is that n'ga out of jail yet?

Yeah, he been out for a couple of months.

Make sure you give that n’ga my address and tell him to holla at D. I’ve got some work I’m trying to push through the prison system and I need some n'gas that know some n'gas in there that can help me move it.

Alright..I’ll be sure to tell him..but you know, I can move weight too.

Oh yeah? You one of them I-10 haulers?

Hell yeah! I ain’t neva scaid to get out there on that interstate and make a trip.

Well you the type of n’ga I’m trying to holla at then!

Oh yeah? Holla at about what?

You said you ain’t ‘neva scaid’ to hit that highway right?

Hell yeah! And that’s on the strength!

Well what about when you take that ‘long long flight’ that Fat Pat was talking about..you ready for that?

Mane when the good Lord says its your time to go, it’s your time to go! I ain’t scaid to die n’ga!!

Hmph..you ain't trying to learn more about God, but yet you sit here and talk about not being afraid to die?? That doesn't make any sense...

I BELIEVE in God n’ga! Just cuz I don’t go to church or read the Bible don’t mean I don’t believe in God!!

I didn’t say that, I said you don’t ‘seek to learn more about God’, because if you did, you’d study your Bible more. You sound like you're not even trying.

Everybody ain‘t ‘readers‘ mane.

So? Do you go to church?

No. They take up too many offerings and have too many ‘holier than thou’ hypocrites at church, I ain’t feeling that.

Well what are you feeling??

Mane..you need to get up off me!! You all in my grill and sh’t like you trying to CONVERT a ng’a or something!!

(laughing) I’m just trying to get into your head and make you think about a few thangs. Don’t trip, that’s just me. Let me gone and pull it on out for you boys….holla back at me and let me know what you think….especially you ROWDY n‘gas!! ...

_________________________________________________________________

Most people make a point to avoid talking about, reading about or even thinking about death. Then you have some people who dwell on death ALL the time…suicidal, those people that are itching to go. They’re ready. Some of this readiness is due to the pain and torment that they are going through here on earth. Other sources include the draw of the mystery of the unknown. Death. Boom. Game Over. Time to start falling into that swirling vortex…aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..twisting and twirling around into the vast unknown surrounded by darkness and enveloped in a dreamlike trance. Maybe we’ll be able to see our old shell lying in state as our spirit drifts away, maybe not. Is death a finite point in time or rather a gradual process? One thing of death that most agree upon, is that when the death time does come, it’s preferably served quickly and immediately. That slow painful drag across a hot asphalt road loaded with rocks is a painful thing to witness and what would cause a lot of folks to say, “to hell with this, pull the plug on me mane!.” Others are afforded the blessing of going away softly in their sleep.



The first real death I ever remember being close to was that of my great-grandmother when I was about 11 years old. Grandma Bessie had suffered her 1st stroke and lost some muscle response on one side of her body. She could still walk, but with a trudge. She only had limited movement with that entire side of her body, and her mouth muscles were severely restricted on half of her face. But she could still laugh or show disapproval at what was going on around her. One of our tasks was to help her with her speech exercises. The first couple of times of going through it were a bit awkward, but she would always give such a spirited try and just laugh at herself with the things she just couldn’t say right away. One thing she could do for sure, was eat. Wasn’t just toast and coffee for this lady, pull out the cream of wheat, eggs, biscuits, syrup, ham steak, orange juice and milk..she was ready! She was still the staid observer on the porch when we had the yard full of kids running and playing around in my grandmother’s yard in Calion, Arkansas. Because after that 1st stroke, when Grandma Bessie came out the hospital, she went to live with one of her daughters, who happens to be my paternal grandmother. I’m sorry if I’m kinda long winded, but I’ve got to make sure I set this one up right, because I gotta make ya’ll FEEL me. I was tripping a bit about rolling this out here like this. You know..starting a story, then stopping right in the middle of it and going off on a tangent talking about some other sh’t?? That’s the aspect of my flow that I was the most apprehensive of being understood, I know everybody doesn’t think like me, most people think longitudinally, I’m more tangent to tangent, ya feel me? Well anyway, I was worried about rolling out on them boys like this, but I happened to holla at one of my Bruh’s. Did you read that post? It’s back on date in the recent articles. This particular bruh is one of those Southside soldiers too. But he’s not from the Southside of Houston, he’s from that Southside of the Chi…over there near Comiskey Park in Chicago, Ill...those familiar can feel me. He was the one that gave me some game that I wasn’t even aware of..



Dauda! (<---That’s how you say ‘D’ in Hausa, one of the cultures and languages in Nigeria)



Kabiru! What’s up?



Man, I’ve been reading your sh’t on servinemup..your sh’t is DOPE!!



Thanks bruh, I appreciate it.



I was reading through the recent articles and man, you’ve already put down enough sh’t to make a book already!



I know..but it’s all different things, there is no constant storyline or plot.



So? That dude Milan wrote the Unbearable Lightness of Being and its stream of consciousness..you could do that too.



Really? I thought that stream of consciousness sh’t went out with Virginia Wolf??



Naww, it’s still out there. And that Socratic method you use? That sh’t is FRESH!!



Socratic Method? I use that??



Yeah.



Uhh..what is the
‘Socratic Method’ exactly…I forgot, I think.



That’s how Socrates would always generate discussion through questioning dialogue. The way you start a lot of your articles with 2 people talking and debating and sh’t, THAT’S the Socratic method.



Well I’ll be damned.



(laughing) You didn’t know that???



(laughing) Naww..I was just trying to be casual and inviting to the reader. Most folks are always trying to see ‘what they tawkin bout’. That’s wild.



Yep. Well..anyway, keep doing what you do n’ga. I read your sh’t religiously, your sh’t is going to blow up.



Thanks for the vote of confidence bruh.



Hell yeah..hey, are you going to put this sh’t on servinemup.com?



Probably..



Well then let me get a shot out to my beautiful wife Sukari, (I love ya sugar!), my strong soldier Asa (you my boy!) all the Bruhs (boop-booooop) and all those people out there down for that love, peace and happiness



Yeah, love is cool...but not that faggy kinda love right? That faggy love sucks!


(ha-ha) ‘Faggy love sucks’, that’s funny.



Yeah, too bad everybody is not going to think it is.



To: dwashington@servinemup.com

From: faggy@lover.com



Subject: Faggy Lovers

Mr.’D




I used to be a regular reader to servinemup.com, and you’ve said some things before about what you feel and what your Bible says about homosexual behavior, but this past post you just went too far. How can a man who claims to have Jesus in his heart sit up and condemn somebody just because they don’t share the same sexual orientation?? Jesus said let he who is without sin cast the first stone! You aren’t perfect or blameless, and you don’t have any rights to judge others and use such offensive and derogatory remarks.



                                 –Signed Faggy and tired of being hated on by servinemup.com



D’mn!! You really printed that sh’t?? Your az is CRAZY!



Yeah, it was a bit over the top and crass, but I get tired of seeing preachers and bishops and ‘people of God’ get up in front of church houses and congregations and writing books and stuff telling people that God says it’s okay to indulge in homosexual relations. I’m not tripping on the sinner, cuz homosexual relations is a sin just like heterosexual adultery and fornication, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call it out when we see it. People who don’t believe in God, or don’t believe in the Bible, I pretty much let them make it, because we’re coming from entirely different foundations, but those Christians who are carrying those signs talking about, ‘God says it’s okay to be Gay!’, that’s some bullsh’t right there and I’m not trying to see it. Of course the argument is that there are so many ‘bad’ and ‘evil’ people and movements in the world, why fight against something so benign and giving as gay love? Repeat, I’m not casting stones or judging, I’m discerning. It’s with the discretionary eye of a parent that I have to survey society and anyone advocating the homosexual lifestyle is definitely not helping the long-term goals of the family.



Of course, this ‘homophobia’ that some people claim I have has a lot to do with the environments that I have been exposed to. Personally, I don’t have a singular problem with homosexuals, let them get their freak on like they want to, that’s them. But whenever I feel that they’re trying to recruit into their game, I grow uneasy and slightly perturbed. If they try to push their point with some of that, ‘How do you KNOW you don’t like men? Jesus said we’re supposed to love our brother..’ that’s when I’m ready to cuss them out and tell them to get the f’k away from me before I bust em upside the head! Ahem. Excuse me. That’s not very Christian of me. I’m sorry, I still have things I’m working on, please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet. I just get pissed off when they try to say homosexuality is a blessed union by God..I have a problem with that. Because that teaching ain’t NOWHERE in the Bible, and ya’ll already know what I’m working with. So for those Christians indulging in homosexual relations out there who are reading this right now and feeling flushed and upset? you ain’t ready to be real.



Now where was I..oh yeah, so we used to help my Grandma Bessie with her speech lessons and although she didn’t talk too much, she could laugh for awhile whenever she got tickled and she could hiss and snap at you whenever she saw you doing something that didn’t meet her approval. But when that 2nd stroke hit her..it not only hit her body, it changed her brain. Each day she drifted farther away from the person we knew her to be, until finally she died. I’m pretty much like everyone else, whenever I get to the point where I’m in extreme pain, or I can’t get out of bed and go to the bathroom by myself, I’ll be ready to go.



Death doesn’t really get REAL to ya, until you go through some thangs. These ‘thangs’ can come from a variety of ways. Experiencing the death of a close family member or friend, or co-worker will make it real to ya. Surviving a stay under intensive care will make death real to ya. Being in a traumatic automobile accident and waking up a few months later in a hospital bed with tubes and wires all around you will make death real to ya too. But once people SEE that death is real, and it’s put in their face and you can see that person that you used to laugh with, cry with, the person who trained you to be the person you are today, when you see your best friend in that casket, it will shake you up and make you start thinking about your day to lay face up, arms folded or maybe to the side. That’s all the way real, ya feel me?



It was this realness I felt at Grandma Bessie’s funeral in the early 80’s. It was this realness I felt when one of my Sunday School classmates entire family was found brutally murdered in their house when I was in middle school. It is this realness that I felt when I sat on the front pew at my Big Daddy’s funeral that brisk December day in 2002. It was this realness I felt when I walked through the cemetery with my papa, looking at the graves of Washington’s past when they laid his sister, my Aunt Pearlie Mae, to rest this past year. It is this realness I felt when I flew to Atlanta and cried and found comfort with the Bruhs as we mourned the tragic passing of one of our own a few months ago.



I’ve never been to the other side. My closest brushes with death were by those half-drowning heaves that you feel when you swallow too much water in the tub or pool. Or maybe that sudden jerk and swerve you have to make on the freeway to avoid a collision due to carelessness or some fool driving like a man possessed. Each time my heart caught that urgent beat..and I had glimpses of all the things I had done in life, experiences, moments, people, and it was almost like saying goodbye to all of it, because where I was preparing to go..I wasn’t going to remember everything that had happened to me in my life. Of course everyone is afraid of HOW they will go, that’s why we workout and eat well and try to live a healthy and safe lifestyle. But once you realize that death is inevitable for us ALL, well then it’s time to start trying to understand all you can about that other side. When you read up on salvation in the Bible, and what God says happens to the soul, you’ll start feeling more comfortable when dealing with death.



The current situation in Israel, God’s Holy Land, is indicative of people living a ‘neva scaid’ mentality. Both sides have soldiers that wake up every morning prepared to die for a cause that they believe in. It is with this resolution that every Christian soldier must strap on that full armor of God, and go out into the world on faith. Don’t be fooled. There are no guarantees of wealth, health and prosperity in this world for the Christian believer. No matter what those ‘name it and claim it’ ministers may expound, the Christian believers battle was won by blood. Not just any blood either, we’re saved by the precious blood of the Lamb. Because those who have never FELT it?? I feel sorry for ya, but hopefully this will be your time to start searching for it. This is straight up and no joke, there is wonder working power in that blood mane. It’s the blood that gives millions of souls today and throughout the history of time the strength…. from day to day, it shall NEVA lose its power.



People can dismiss or attempt to discredit the Christ all they want, but once you experience one of those REAL death experiences? It’ll make you start searching for that salvation mane, I know it made me. N’gas can sit up here and talk about all that bullsh’t about what kinda rims do you have or how much they gave in church offering or what kinda status they have, but in the end all that sh’t don’t matter. The key to getting to that other side into the presence of God is believing in Jesus and Jesus Christ only. Anything else is anti-Christ. That’s what’s in the Bible mane and if anybody tries to tell you differently or ‘twerk’ it a bit, you need to raise your eyebrows and check out what their motives are. Because no matter what people are talking about,or what people are expounding to be ‘God’s will’, a good litmus test that my uncle taught me holds true: (1) Is this supported by Scripture? and (2) When all is said and whatever it is you’re doing is done, who gets the glory?



There’s a lot of janky theology going on in the world. People are misrepresenting the Word of God and leading people astray in masses. That’s why it is so important for those who can read, to READ and STUDY their Bibles, listen to ministers on the radio or on TV and check those passages for yourself to make sure you’re not getting ‘okey-doked’.



If you don’t get baptized, you can’t go to Heaven.



That’s not true.



If you do a good thing to make up for every bad thing you do, you get to go to Heaven.



Nope, not even close.



The fire that was lit in me at my Big Daddy’s funeral, was a spiritual awakening from which my eyes can never close. Sitting there in that front pew reflecting on his life and then imagining my day to be in the casket opened my eyes to a lot of things. I could no longer ignore the reality of my day to lie in that casket, I saw it too clearly. I don’t know when my time is to go, it could be right as I make this last post, or I might live to see 92 like Big Daddy, I don’t know. All I know is that I found the Saviour, and He’s so sweet, I know. Those who have found Him already are smiling and saying, ‘Do that d’mn thang D! Let them fools know!’ Those who are still searching are probably thinking, ‘D’mn, Jesus accepts n’gas THIS crazy??’ Yep. He does..His arms are open to all.



This is the ‘weight’ that I’m pushing, so hopefully, those who can see past the game of the curse words and lampoonery and can recognize the ‘real’ that I’ve anchored my soul in, will forgive me if my words are offensive or discouraging. My prayer is that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart are acceptable in His sight, because He’s my strength and my redeemer. That’s not mine, I jacked that from one of the Psalms of David. When my day comes to check in and cash in my chips, I won’t be bringing any 401(k), IRA’s or stock portfolios with me. No real estate, no cars, no houses, tight whips sittin on twankies, no Jordan’s, no Cole Haan’s, none of my kinfolk or friends, I can’t even bring my wife or my kids who I love so dearly with me..the only thing I’m taking with me when I leave this earth is my faith in Jesus.



But when the day comes for me to take that long long flight??…ya’ll don’t cry for D. Because once that day comes, I know it’s a part of God’s will and I’m going to be present with my Lord, waiting on that trumpet to blow signaling the return of the Lion. I ain’t neva scaid n’ga, I’ve got a Savior.



If you’re about that love and peace and forgiveness and sacrifice and work and charity, then you’re going to find an eternal rest in Jesus. Even those that are more militant and ready to bust caps on haters, God is going to let the fallen soldiers ride with Him. All those who have been persecuted, tormented and killed because they believed in Jesus will be the first to rise. I don’t know about you, but when that trumpet blows, I want to be with them first to rise n’gas, I ain’t trying to miss NUTHIN!



NEVA SCAID mane...meditate on that.



Hebrews 2:12 Saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee. 13 And again, I will put my trust in Him. And again, Behold, I and the children which God hath given me. 14 Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil. 15 And deliver them who through fear of death where all their lifetime subject to bondage.



Holeup..before you go. I know I’ve kept you awhile this time. Normally I’m in and out around 1500 words. This one is a tick past 3 grand and rolling. (<-I had to throw a lil hustler lingo in there for them boys that work them beams!) I know there are a lot of people caught up in the immediate grind of surviving and they can’t step back and see the biggest picture. Because it doesn’t matter your situation..black, white..male, female, slave, free, rich, poor..you’re going to die one day. And what you have faith in when it comes to life after death will dictate the steps you walk while you’re here on this earth. That’s just how it is. But no matter where you are, Southside, Northside, Chicago, Kenya..Dominica, Puerto Rico, Brasil, Belize, Japan, China,Armenia..Israel..it doesn’t matter, wherever you are, you can never say that no one ever brought you the Word of the Messiah. Consider yourself served. I’m like them laws serving warrants on n’gas, but instead of an arrest warrant I’m serving boys that good news. Some accept it, some reject it, that’s your free will. I’m just performing the calling that God has placed on my heart, I’ve gotta tell people about Him, I can’t keep it to myself.



This was a very emotional piece for me to write. Understandably I’m sure some of the instances and memories I penned stirred up emotions in others who know the same people I spoke of or who have been through the same pains of loss that I have described. All I can tell you is to look at King David, the man who was a central figure along the bloodline of the Messiah, for David was a man that was after God’s own heart. After David and Bathsheeba had an improper affair from which she became pregnant, and David had arranged for Bathsheeba’s husband to be killed in battle, Bathsheeba had that child which was conceived under the cloak of adultery. This child was very sickly and ill and David got down on his knees and he prayed fervently to God everyday all day for the health of his child. David’s prayers were so feverent and passionate, he stopped eating and bathing and grooming himself. People around him thought he was going crazy his prayer was so woeful. But when God’s answer came and David received the news that the child had died..he got up from his mourning, cleaned himself up and went on about his business. God had spoken and His word is final, eternally just and inerrant. There is nothing that will ever happen in this world that will prevent God’s plan from being fulfilled. ALL things work toward the glory and David knew that, cuz he had a heart that could receive it. Submitting to God’s will means you gotta roll with it mane, even when it’s a decision or outcome that’s very painful and scary for you to handle. Let go of that pride and let God do His thang. If you meditate on Him and seek Him and acknowledge Him in all your ways? He will direct your path.



I have a Stanford friend who gave me an excellent list of books to read on dealing with the loss of a loved one. I’ve included her comments..thanks Steph!



RESOURCE LIST
Books for Adults

1. The Path Through Grief, by Marguerite Bouvard w/ Evelyn Gladu.
Published by Prometheus Books, 1998
ISBN 1-57392-189-0
** I highly recommend this book. It's very practical and not at all sappy. If you want to flip thru it first, make certain you check out Chapter 14 (pg. 140), "When Someone We Love Is Murdered."

2. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye - Surviving, Coping & Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One, by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D.
Published by Champion Press, Ltd., 2000
ISBN 1-891400-27-4
** Also an excellent book with much more detailed information, including:
- The Ambush (Just when you think you're fine, rage resurfaces, etc."
- Grief knows no schedule
- Troublesome dreams
- Feeling the presence of the deceased
- Instant replays and obsessive thoughts
- The "If Only" mind game
- Anger
- The Stages of Grief (The 1st Year; The 2nd Year; The 3rd Year)
- The Loss of a Friend/The Loss of a Sibling
- Grieving Guidelines for Men
- Guidelines for Grieving Couples
- Plus extensive lists of resources and support for various circumstances.

3. When Your Child Loses A Loved One, by Theresa M. Huntley.
Published by Augsburg Fortress, 2001
ISBN 0-8066-4262-9
** Impressively thorough and helpful in just 55 pages. Great for busy parents.

4. When Men Grieve. Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help, by Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D., 1998.

5. When Children Grieve. For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, by John W. James and Russell Friedman.
Published by Quil Publishing, 2001.

6. I Know Just How You Feel…Avoiding the Clichés of Grief, by Erin Linn, 1986.
(Offers extensive information on clichés and the damage they can do to grievers.)

7. How Can I Help? How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving, by June Cerza Kolf

8. How Do We Tell the Children?: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children Understand And Cope When Someone Dies, by Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons.
Published by Newmarket Press, 1986
** Everything a person needs to know about dealing with children of all ages and death. Includes a special "Crisis" section for quick reference.


On-line Support for Adults

1. www.halos.org
HALOS (Helping All Loved Ones Survive) is a support resource for family and friends who have lost a loved one to homicide.

2. www.adultsiblinggrief.com

3. www.grieflossrecovery.com

4. www.groww.com

5. www.thecompassionatefriends.com

Books for Teens and Children

1. Help for the Hard Times. Getting Through Loss, by Earl Hipp.
** An excellent book, especially for teens.

2. When Someone Very Special Dies. Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief, written by Marge Heegaard to be illustrated by children. [$6.95]
Published by Woodland Press, 1988
ISBN 0-9620502-0-2
** For children ages 6-12. I HIGHLY recommend this one. Designed to be used in an adult/child setting, with age-appropriate educational concepts and questions to help children identify and accept their feelings. Children are invited to illustrate and personalize their loss through art. This workbook encourages the child to identify support systems and personal strengths.

3. After the Funeral, by Jane Loretta Winsch.
Published by Paulist Press, 1995. [$5.95]
ISBN 0-8091-6625-9

4. Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen.
Published by Bantam Publishers, 1983.
** A colorful storybook to read to young children.

5. I Don't Have an Uncle Phil Anymore, by Marjorie White Pellegrino.
Published Magination Press, 1998.
** Following the unexpected death of his uncle, a boy travels to the funeral with his extended family and begins to think about what the event will mean for all of them.


 

 

 

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